Stephanee Rowbury

“In remission”. Two of the greatest words to hear from my oncologist! It was a feeling that all that chemo was a good thing and worth every second of feeling yucky. When I hear the words “cancer free” from someone who is congratulating me on my survival…it sounds SO weird! I feel as though you’re never really “cancer free” because of the worry of the cancer returning, the effects from the chemo, and all the life changes that have occurred. Plus, the anticipation of the reconstruction. The constant search for normalcy! Those are all feelings that I was not prepared for…

I vaguely remember the morning I got the diagnosis phone call. All I remember was the feeling of numbness setting in throughout my whole body. Then, one by one, my friends began arriving at my house. One, even showing up in her apron and another in her tennis skirt. I remember lying with my head on one of my friend’s lap just crying. And her, letting me. She even called my mom with the news. They all were so strong! Right then, I knew I could do this! Later, when I pulled up in front of my parent’s house, my mom & stepfather walked outside to greet me. My stepfather had come home from the office to be with me. I cried in to my mom’s arms, and she just let me! I couldn’t believe her strength! My brother in law came over as well. They just sat with me all day. Sometimes never even saying a word. Just sitting with me. There again, I knew I could do this!

My survival came from all the love and support I received. It was the reason I was able to get out of bed to face a new day. The reason I was able to go through all the surgeries. The reason I was able to sit through the chemo every two weeks, for 16 weeks. And, still is the reason I continue to cope day to day. It helps me to realize that there is SO much strength around me and inside me!

I guess the point of my survival letter, is dedicated to the families, friends, and caretakers. They are doing such a good service by lending their strengths. Whether they sit through chemo, attend doctor appointments or send a card, an email, or a text message, say a prayer, or give a hug. It means so much to feel so loved and cared about. And, with that, comes strength!

Cancer has taught me a lot. I have realized that everyone goes through, and has their own day-to-day struggles. Until you walk in their shoes, you can never judge on how a person must feel or act. What you can do is lend your support and strength and let them know they are loved. I also cannot believe I ever cried over a guy….

There are many more life lessons that I will continue to learn throughout this process as it continues. I could write on and on as I have so much I want to say to both a person going through this process and to a person going through the process with someone. What I can do is give my strength and love! And, to assure them that they CAN do this!